watching watchmen (lolz see what i did thur hurhur), driving, pikachu farming

I haven't updated in awhile.

Eh, you're not there reading anyway so whatever.

I've been busy working at Target; they had us on overnight shift as we restocked the store.

Ever worked overnight? It's tiring as all hell; I am so glad we're back to early morning shift.

Zack Snyder's Watchmen was a highly enjoyable film, and I feel with time people will be able to appreciate it as a film and not just regard it as "GRR THEY DIDNT FIT THE ENTIRE BOOK AND HAD TO MAKE CONCESSIONS BC FILM AND COMIC BOOKS ARE DIFFERENT AND I LIVE IN MY MOMS BASEMENT AND GIRLS HAVE COOTIES".

Nerd rage is stupid.

Also: get over yourselves, yeah, Moore's Watchmen graphic novel is good but it's not the fucking holy bible. Goddamn. You people act like it's above adaptations and different interpretations that the entirety of storytelling is allowed.

Elitist assholes.

Anyway. New car. It rocks. I love it. Also, I've started some more pikachu farming.

All in all, a good March. I guess.

my review of teenage mutant ninja turtles (1990); wherein i proclaim my deep love for nina turtles and their first theatrical feature

note: this is a reprinting of an article of mine originally published on gamespite.net; this is an amended version but does still contain some editing by my editor there, Jeremy Parish. He's truly a wonderful editor, with the ability to preserve everything you said and meant to say, with his edits essentially amounting to saying things in ways you wished you had thought to say them.




Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Directed by: Steve Barron
Music by: John Du Prez
Additional Songs by: MC Hammer
Distributed by: New Line Cinema
Theatrical Release Date: March 30, 1990 (USA)
Running Time: Approx. 95 Minutes

Based on: Turtles rescue a rat while fighting off rebellious ninja teenagers; hot newscasters; way too many puns on the word "shell"; badasses named Casey Jones.

article writ by cortbassist89 March 4, 2008



Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is quite possibly the best movie ever made about anthropomorphic turtles. The Turtles were a cultural phenomenon in the '80s and '90s, meaning you either constantly begged your parents for the toys or else your kids constantly begged you. And, heaven forbid, if you're too young to remember that, the heroes in a half-shell have remained in the public eye thanks to their 2003 cartoon and last year's computer-animated film. Not an American? That would almost be an excuse if not for the fact that Turtle fandom has thrived admirably from the UK to Germany, from Sweden to Japan.

The Ninja Turtles were a veritable phenomenon. Cartoon show, movies, video games, table-top RPGs, cereals, toys, Happy Meals, manga, anime, and even a live-action concert tour -- the Turtles were a genuine hit, and it all started with one comic book by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman. Of course, it's unlikely the pair ever felt their independently-published parody of Frank Miller, X-Men, and Daredevil would ever make much of an impact in the world. But once the TMNT machine kicked into gear, it evolved into an international business at an ungodly rate. The concept evolved from a night of brainstorming between Laird and Eastman in which they drew a short turtle with nunchaku, making an incongruous pairing of the slowness of a turtle and the agility of a ninja. In a daring move, the pair used a loan and a tax refund to form Mirage Studios and self-publish their first comic: TNMT #1.

The original print runs of the first few issues were understandably low, coming in around five thousand copies, making them collector's items nearly overnight as the comic quickly grew in popularity. Over time, the comics became less about parody and more about serious problems like those presented in the books they once parodied. Isolation, rejection, death -- the maturity of the material was matched by the grisly violence found inside. While this mature version of the Turtles was a definite hit, they became a cultural phenomenon by aiming right at the kids' market. The 1987 Saturday morning cartoon was their breakthrough, stripping the original concept of its darkness and satire to be replaced with a kid-friendly attitude and lots of "x-tremeness." By helping to pioneer the magic formula of "funny animals" and "attitude," the cartoon was a hit with a wider, older audience than mere funny animals alone could manage. Plus, it had a certain mass appeal: everyone could relate to the Turtles, outcast and alienated from society. Their perspective was always more hopeful than depressing; the Turtles never gave up, never admitted defeat. At the same time, it wasn't all angst and archetypes -- the show was funny, occasionally clever, and filled with entertaining action.

Their 1990 live-action film sought not only to deliver on this, but to amplify it. It was essentially an adaptation of the comic book, with sprinkles of the cartoon show added in: serious and dark, yet humorous and kid-friendly. The Turtles here are much more ninja-like than in the TV show, skilled in the art of weapon combat and stealth. They even (gasp) curse, mildly. However, there's a steady stream of comedy too, and no one, save the main villain, technically "dies." (And even he didn't really die, thanks to mf'ing retconning.)



Likewise, the story and canon of the film draws upon both the cartoon and comic. The film's April O'Neil isn't a computer programmer as she was in the comic book but rather a news reporter a la the cartoon. But the Foot Clan is made up of run-away teenagers, not robots like in the cartoon. It's a coming-of-age story; four brothers lose their father to the villainous Shredder and must learn the meaning of teamwork and love. And ninjitsu. Infighting is common, particularly between Leonardo and Raphael. The former seeks to overcome his personal pain to be the leader he knows he must be for his brothers, while the latter wants to bring swift revenge to bear on the Shredder instead of dealing with his trauma.

Perhaps unfortunately, the film mostly focuses around the exploits of Leonardo, Raphael, their rat-man master Splinter, and the Shredder. Michelangelo and Donatello's roles seem more like cameos at times than main protagonists as they pop up every once in a while to quip a one-liner or share a touching Kodak moment.



The film's success wasn't contingent on its story but rather because of its deft combination of story and stylistic action. The action could have been horrible; giant turtle suits can't be easy to design or maneuver in. But Jim Henson's Creature Shop did a wonderful job not only designing suits which allowed the stunt men to do their job well, but also designing natural, realistic (well, "realistic") faces that were capable of conveying much more emotion than you might expect.

The action here is more realistic and more explicit than that of the cartoon. So are the central themes, which center around the loss and death of a family member, around alienation, and around struggling to find purpose in life. It's rated PG rather than G for good reason. The more serious and realistic action or the darker themes may be too much for younger children to handle. Are your kids mature enough to handle the Shredder being crushed to death in a garbage truck?



The film represents the Turtles phenomenon at its peak; it does a brilliant job of both catering to the lowest common denominator and maintaining a respectable level of quality. It was pretty much downhill from here for the Turtles, as their mass audience grew up and lost its zeal. Later films and television shows were either too campy or too strange (and were of significantly poorer quality) than this one bright point -- which is why the Turtles, until recently, have been more a relic than a pop culture icon.

weekend update

I've spent most of the weekend at Brian's apartment; there were many fun times to be had.

I went to Vintage Stock and found probably the most awesome thing I've ever: Friday the 13th comics--Jason X v Jason. At $2 each, I couldn't help but buy Issue 1 and 2 in exchange for awesome Jason on Space Jason action. Pictures will be coming eventually.

Next update will be a reprinting of my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) article.

batman (1989): my review in which i point out that i don't really care for the film batman (1989)

note: this is an amended reprinting of my article originally published on gamespite.net; this is an edited version, edited by my editor there Jeremy Parish. All my original content remains, he just rewrote some phrases (mostly humorous ones) to closely match the style of the site. I would estimate about 90% of it though is exactly as it was when I originally typed it.

Now, as per my current liking of Batman (1989): I still don't care for it that much. Parts are okay, but I really don't care much for this interpretation of Batman. You can ignore the canon silliness I talk about below, because I don't really share that viewpoint anymore. There IS no canon Batman. In the 40s, Batman was noir, and at one point had a gun. In the 50s/60s, Batman was a campy guy; and in the 70s and 80s Batman began to become dark again.

article writ by cortbassist89 Oct 27, 2007


Tim Burton's Batman (1989)

Directed by: Tim Burton
Music by: Danny Elfman, Prince
Theatrical Release Date: June 23, 1989 (USA)
Running Time: 126 Minutes
Genre: Action, Superhero Film

Based on: A long-running comic book character; directorial creativity; moral ambiguity; watching Batman beat up the Joker to Prince music.


The summer before my birth wasn't merely fun and games; it was home to an Academy Award-winning film based on Batman, which is really sort of crazy when you stop and think about it. Nearly everyone in America has seen Burton's Batman. (Or as I like to call it, Batman '89. What, you prefer Burtman or something? That's what I thought.) On the off chance you somehow haven't watched this film, that means you either don't have cable or you don't like Batman. The former is excusable, while the latter... Well, the latter doesn't matter because you don't exist.

Hate to tell you, Generation X, but despite all your rosy nostalgia over Batman '89, it's not actually particularly great. The claims that it is are made by two kinds of people: Those who haven't watched it in its entirety since 1989, and a secret underground society (possibly gnomes) plotting to take over the world by making people endure poor acting.

So sit down, grab some popcorn, and let's chat awhile about Batman '89. I'm watching it so you don't have to. Because I'm just that nice, and also a glutton for punishment. It's a win-win situation for us all.

Tim Burton's Batman is dark, but in a whole different way than comtemporary Batman. Batman at the time had became a dark character, thanks in large part to Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns, in 1986. Comics in general became darker in the 80s, with joyful escapism and more gritty gory action. Still, I've never felt that Burton's Batman quite seemed like Batman. Now, there is NO real Batman. There's no defined "THIS IS EXACTLY WHO BATMAN IS" guide; writers and artists change Batman pretty much monthly, if only a little. This quality is in fact why Batman has lasted since the 1940s; he's changed to be relative to each era. But enough of Batman character history, this is a movie review, so if you want history hit up the awesome Batman: Yesterday, Today and Beyond.

Now, you can't really say that Burton's Batman is a bad movie; it's a damn fine piece of entertainment. But it's just that: Burton's Batman, and it shares little in common with the canonical Batman. (Post-Crisis version, OK? None of this silly "Bat-Mite" nonsense.) Burton's Batman is void of hope; he is a ruthless vigilante who does not fight crime to rid the world of it as the traditional Batman does, but rather to ease his secret pain and suffering. Batman doesn't come off as threatening, and his Bruce Wayne alter ego doesn't come off as a tortured soul who uses the guise of a playboy to fool the world. Rather, he seems like a reclusive billionaire with a peculiarly large collection of ancient deadly weapons.



The plot isn't horrible, but it's certainly not great, either. It's fairly original in that it is not a straight adaptation of any one Batman comic; in fact, it's relatively above-average as far as comic book films go. We find Batman in the early days of his vigilantism, in one of the most barren, dirty, and downright depressing places you'll ever see: Gotham City. The city's widespread violence and excess of baroque architecture has Gotham experiencing one of the worst depressions in recent history, because no one wants to go near this death trap. As in Miller's Year One, mobsters are running Gotham into the ground, flooding it with drugs, crime, and poverty.

The film also covers the Joker's origin, respecting his original acid-bath birth while adding a mobster backstory, a history of insanity, and a name on top of that. This pretty much means that while the canon Joker went insane after one bad day and a dip in some chemicals, Burton's Joker, Jack Napier, was insane and committing crime long before his chemical peel. More than that, Burton changed Bruce Wayne's origin to add tension between Batman and the Joker: in Batman '89, it was the pre-Joker Napier who killed Bruce's parents.

This of course completely eclipses the fact that the canon Joker and Batman already had tension between them. The Joker was Batman's archnemesis, the one criminal who consistently pushed his wits and brawn to the limits. This was all accented more by the fact that The Joker truly wasn't all that different from The Batman. Both were, to an extent, sociopathic (see 1989's graphic novel Arkham Asylum). Plus, both had become who they were due solely to one bad day (as in 1988's graphic novel The Killing Joke, by Alan Moore).

Of course, fidelity to the source is barely half of what is important in a film adaptation. The other half is how the rest of it plays out. That's where the movie's good; not excellent, not amazing, just good. Casting, for the most part, is not too bad. Kim Basinger delivers a perfectly acceptable performance as Vicki Vale, and Michael Gough's Alfred is adequate considering the amount of screen time he receives. Billy Dee Williams's talent is wasted here, as his role as District Attorney Harvey Dent is small, and poorly utilized.

As with any movie, the meat is really in the leads, and that's where Batman '89 somewhat fails. Jack Nicholson's performance as the Joker is a great one -- not much of a stretch from Nicholson's previous film roles, but still a great performance. Nicholson is simply one of those actors that's just plain fun to watch; that remains true here too.


Unfortunately, Michael Keaton's performance as Batman/Bruce Wayne is disappointing; He fails to emote in nearly every scene, leaving us with the impression of Bruce Wayne as a psychotic recluse, not the angst-filled vigilante we all know and love. Michael Keaton is a fine actor, so it is beyond me why here he chose to read lines rather than act; it's a big difference, and certainly a noticeable one.

But taken by another standard, Batman '89 is in truth a decent and sometimes even great action flick. Fidelity and acting aren't important to everyone; as a big, dumb action flick, Batman '89 excels: The fighting is top notch, the storyline cleverly combines the campy and the macabre, Kim Basinger isn't too hard on the eyes, and outside of the leading man, the acting is mostly passable and occasionally exceptional. Plus, words can't begin to describe the pure bliss of watching Michael Keaton beat up Jack Nicholson to Prince music.

So is it a bad film? No way -- to call it that would be a grave injustice. Seldom does a genuinely bad movie become the highest grossing film of the year. I would also be doing it an injustice if I failed to recognize Batman '89's importance to the Batman franchise as a whole: Along with Year One and The Dark Knight Returns, it helped returned Batman to his darker roots from which the character had strayed since before the debut of campy '60s television series starring Adam West.

Yes, indeed, Batman '89 is a good superhero film, whose only real flaw is not sticking close enough to the source material, and that flaw only matters if it bothers you. And it only bothers you if you utterly lack a sense of perspective.

And while Batman '89 may have had enough commercial tie-ins and licensed products to make you sick, including the crazy-popular NES? game, at least it wasn't a complete directorial perversion of the Batman name. That came with Burton's next effort...

ttyl

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images courtesy batman unmasked

batman is my guitar hero

As promised, as delivered. I make good on my word!

I love making Guitar Hero World Tour (360) characters. It's pretty awesome, and I'm pretty awesome at it. My GH band is named Superfluous, and for it I have many custom characters, including Donkey Kong, Batman, Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, the black and the white Green Lantern, Spider-Man, Venom, The Riddler, and the Joker.

Pictures below! As always, click to enlarge, my lovely little internet people.

Ttyl

ps the first one is Donkey Kong

conchordy goodness

Flight of the Conchords is now in its second season, and so far I've enjoyed the two new episodes. The music isn't quite as strong as the first season (though still very funny), but I think the comedy and writing actually might be a little bit better.

In other news, I found a cool t-shirt website, threadless.com, where you can set up an account and submit shirt ideas, and the site's community votes on them. If you wanna check out my ideaas, go to http://www.threadless.com/profile/885009/themilkman89.

So to the pictures!



This is a kinda poster I made while listening to Hypnotize by System of a Down. It's a good exercise, listening to music and sketching whatever random visual pops into your head.



This is a drawing I did of Batman and Robin (DC Comics). I like this style myself.



And this is a more artsy picture. I stared at my hand for a long long time to draw that hand lol. I actually drew this long before the house fire I was in New Years.

So yeah. That's it for today's update.

ttyl


Special Preview of the Next Update! I like to make awesome custom characters in Guitar Hero 4. Like Batman and Robin, or the Riddler. I'm gonna post some pics soon.

to the batcave!

Turbines to speed!

So this blog is going to be mostly random, as it is mostly just to show off some new pics, but I also wanna rant about who's its and what's its. Firstly, I love the Justice League Unlimited. It's probably the best superhero cartoon ever. Period. It introduced me to Booster Gold, and that's awesome, and has storylines so awesome one of them involves a Gorilla Batman.

Gorilla.

BATMAN.

Also, as a big Flight of the Conchords fan (New Zealand's fourth-most popular folk rock band!), I was very excited to stumble upon a movie called Eagle Vs Shark, an indie kiwi comedy starring Conchord Jemaine Clement. It was funny and touching, with a tone falling somewhere between Napoleon Dynamite and Science of Sleep. This movie certainly isn't for everybody, but I loved it.

And onto more photos! Other than my above-seen Batmobile (DC Comics), I also drew a couple Spider-Men (Marvel).


This Spider-Man is hanging from his feet from a string of web. I really wish people would showcase the fact that Spider-Man can not only crawl but walk on walls. That is, that his feet are magically delicious sticky. Ergo, he should be able to grab onto some web just fine with his feet.


This Spider-Man is another exhibition of his footy abilities; he's just chilling, giving you the big ol' double thumbs-up.

And I leave you, fine people of Le World, with a mock Batman page I did; the close-ups are detailed, but the other shots are a quirkier style I like. Click to enlarge.



Ttyl.

belated happy new year

Happy New Year. I bought you a cactus, internet!

Enjoy.

So not much going on right now; I'm unemployed and largely uninspired, and still not quite back to my normal operating standards.

But once I am! Oh boy oh boy party time will commence. Commencer, madamoiselle.

There are some things I feel I've researched just poorly enough to give my insightful amateur opinions about in an internet blog.

First off, apparently actor Joaquin Phoenix, who I loved as Johnny Cash in Walk the Line, has taken a hiatus from his acting career to start a rapping career. Having never heard him rap, I won't say that he's doomed or anything--I will just point out that most actors who try music (Bruce Willis, Corey Feldman) see nothing but wonderful failure. Plus, what a strange genre to try out. I just didn't expect rap from Mr. Cash; rock, maybe, because honestly he sang Johnny Cash's songs better than Johnny Cash did. But rap? Wow.


Also, as a huge Jason Voorhees fanboy, I had a little happypartydancathon when I saw the latest batch of Friday the 13th (2009) pics. Correct me if I'm wrong but I do believe that this marks the first time an Asian guy has had a role in a Jason flick. Yay, diversity!

Also, apparently there's a third Ice Age flick coming out this year? Am I living in some parallel dimension where Ray Ramano, Dennis Leary, and Queen Latifah have profitable careers? Apparently the Ice Age franchise has made over a billion dollars worldwide; um, okay. I still say the movies would be better if they were only about the rat squirrel thingy that's always after that nut.

I'm gonna wrap up this post with a little note on movies. I recently watched Gone Baby, Gone which cemented my opinion of Casey Affleck as a damn good actor. It is a very good movie, great acting, writing, direction, and hey, Morgan Freeman. I also watched Oldboy, which was great, and a nice dip into Korean filmmaking. It was weird, it was cool. I loved it.

So yeah. Hope you're all doing well.


(click to enlarge)

Ttyl.